Families Matter Most

Does anxiety need counselling or coaching? #

You’re sitting with Riley, a member of your congregation who struggles with anxiety. They’ve booked a meeting for pastoral counselling, and though they’ve been to your office three times—the anxiety is still there.

You’re thinking, “We’ve already gone over this and given it to God!” 

You’re frustrated, and they’re desperate for help.

The difference between healing and “fixing” #

When we pray and leave anxiety at the altar, it feels like a lack of faith to bring it up again. Riley is overcome with shame and a feeling of defeat. You want to help but aren’t sure what to do next.

What are we doing wrong?

When scripture says to cast your cares on Jesus, he didn’t mean throw them at Him and run. When we leap too quickly into “giving it to God,” we might actually be skipping over the essential process of naming, feeling, and understanding the pain. As a parenting expert and life coach for parents, I see this showing up in the lives of my clients all the time. 

Learning to sit in our emotions and invite Jesus into them is powerful, and for most of us, this is exactly the process of healing we need to start with. For some who’ve struggled with anxiety on a long-term basis, have experienced significant impairment in daily life, or who’ve experienced trauma, recommending a faith-based psychologist or licensed counselor is a helpful tool for your congregation. 

Even with all the counselling, at some point, Riley will feel stuck. 

Riley doesn’t want to keep talking about what’s wrong.

Riley wants to move forward—this is where coaching is powerful!

What is Anxiety Coaching? #

“He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.”

Psalm 147:3

Instead of reinforcing Riley’s shame around “I already gave it to Jesus,” try asking:

• “I wonder what God might say to encourage you right now?”
• “What rhythm or practice could remind you of God’s faithfulness when you’re feeling anxious?”
• “Would a routine help you stay grounded and connected to Him?”
• “How would these disciplines make you feel?”
• “What would you need to do to start small?”
• “What can you say to yourself when you fall off track?”
• “Let’s set up a goal for the next time we meet.”
  

Christian coaching becomes a life-giving complement to counselling and pastoral care. 

Because Jesus wants us to deal with our past hurts, of course, but He also wants us to be disciples. 

Riley wants to move forward. Christian coaching will provide accountability and support, while counselling offers truth and healing. Strategies to find peace ahead of stress, tools to deal with anxiety in the moment, and practices to reduce it over time will help Riley overcome anxiety for good.

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